Rosita's Story

My depression started during my marriage. One day, my husband took everything and left. He took $9000 from our savings. I didn't have any financial support or means to support myself. Then my depression became much worse. I was a nurse, and when I'd help my patients up, I'd start dropping them. I didn't feel like I had any strength in my legs. This was a good job, and I had done it for twelve years, but people started saying my mind was not on my work. I eventually lost my job.

All I could think was "What happened? How could my husband abandon me and leave me basically homeless?" And I was homeless. I ended up sleeping in a flower shop, because flowers were a mood lifter for me. I was isolated-I didn't tell my friends what was going on. Every morning I'd try to get up but couldn't. It was like being in a dark hole. I had lost my concentration. I couldn't think anymore-what was in my head was just so overwhelming.

I was isolated for six to seven months. I started calling up different mental health places to see if I could get a therapist. I was told there were none available, and that I either had to be hospitalized or referred to get one. Eventually I was referred to Victim' Services in Miami and started doing therapy there.

During this time I was talking like a child. This was one of my symptoms. Wherever I went, everyone recognized me as a little girl ... a 35-year old talking like a little girl. The minute I spoke one word, everyone looked at me. So at that point I never felt comfortable going out into society.

I was basically moving from shelter to shelter. Broward Partnership for the Homeless staff and case management helped me a great deal. For six months, I was in Henderson, a mental health facility for homeless and dually diagnosed people. During that time I was still talking like a child. I was really following the people that were around me, because I couldn't make any decision for myself. I left it up to my case manager. Luckily, every decision she made for me was the right one.

I started creating my own recovery network, which still helps me to this day. I created all different forms of therapy. I love to work with flowers-the color brings me joy. I do a lot of artwork, which keeps my mind busy. I go to all kinds of lectures and workshops, whether they're related to me or not. I do fundraising, walkathons, Reiki, and advocacy work.

And I volunteer a lot. Talking to other people and helping them also helps me. I had done childcare, but was afraid I couldn't do it again, so instead I volunteered at my church. There, I was able to work with children. And they offered me a paid position there for a few hours a week.

I went back to work in a flower shop full-time, against the advice of my therapist. The stress got to me, and I had a heart attack last March. I had to have open-heart surgery.

My life was put on hold again. I had to take it easy and I didn't like it. But you have to have patience in recovery.

I am really doing well in my physical and mental recovery. It's been two years I haven't had anxiety problems, and a year since I stopped taking medications for depression. And I'm planning to keep it like that! After my surgery, I thought I would be more depressed than ever... but I'm not!

Rosita